


Am I the only one?

by Im_a_kitchen_sink



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Paramore, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: F/F, Gerard way is like chief couple shipper, High School AU?, Homophobia, M/M, a butt ton of homophobia and swearing, eventually there will be abuse, everyone likes taco bell, idk what i'm writing, loads of bandom, loads of basketball, maybe eventual angst, more tags will be added, triggering content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-14 07:43:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9169171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_a_kitchen_sink/pseuds/Im_a_kitchen_sink
Summary: Josh and Tyler are complete opposites. Tyler Joseph is captain of the school basketball team and famously known throughout the school. Josh is a sort of loser who always gets bullied with his friends. Will Josh ever achieve his dream to befriend Tyler Joseph, his idol? And does he realise there is more to Tyler than meets the eye?basically, the kind of emotional high school au no one asked for but we all knew we wanted! ;)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic I wrote! I hope you all like it and enjoy reading it :3 and sorry about all the grammar errors and tense jumping. I have a bad habit for it XD   
> This first chapter is mainly about Josh but I do promise little bean Tyler will be in a future chapter very soon! ;)
> 
> For some reason this first chapter is weird so I'm sorry about that lmao
> 
> I'll continue to update tags and stuff as I post more chapters too because right now all that tag stuff is a mess XD

Josh had slept in again. The groupchat was keeping him up for most of the night and even though they were his friends, Josh didn't have the moral strength to politely tell his friends at 11pm (especially Brendon who was well known to all his friends for pulling all-nighters, randomly spamming the groupchat with memes at 1am and generally didn't know when to fuck off and rest for once) that school IS tomorrow and that they maybe should just shut up for once and give him some much needed beauty sleep. _Damn it, why does it have_ to _rain?_ Josh thought to himself as he looked out of the kitchen window while eating a bowl of off-tasting froot loops in milk. His family had all left to go to school and work, leaving Josh contemplating his thoughts in a half-woken state. He glanced at the clock and realised that  he was late for school. _Fuck_. Somehow, he had managed to ignore his alarm clock going off or his parents attempt to yell at him, telling him to hurry up or, his siblings shutting the door. How on earth he managed to not notice the fact that there was no one in the house when he woke up was weird. But then again, Josh was too tired to care for that nonsense. They had obviously given up and realised they were going to be late themselves if they don't move it and so left Josh by himself to come up with how he is going to get into school without making an absolute fool of himself. No doubt his calculus teacher will be there to greet him with an after school detention slip for wandering the corridors or just being another pain in the ass for arriving late. Josh sighed. How he hated that teacher with all his guts. Life would be so much better without that cow. Josh always got targeted by her in that class. Maybe being late wouldn't be half bad though, at least he wouldn't get pushed into a locker or spat on just before homeroom, ruining his self-esteem for the rest of the day. But that could always be done at lunch or at the end of school. Then, when he gets home, his parents will be giving him lectures on how he should be getting up earlier and possibly have some weird glances exchanged by his siblings. Wow. This day is totally going his way. He tipped his soggy froot loops in the bin and went to gather his stuff, making sure to bring all his books. If being late wasn't enough to make a fool of yourself, then forgetting your books  and being late certainly will. And Josh doesn't want to sit next to Brendon again. Brendon is super hyperactive. Especially when you let him have energy juice. He remembers Ryan, Brendon's boyfriend, telling him to NEVER feed Brendon Red Bull or any energy juice. Apparently he shoots off the walls and poor Josh learnt that the hard way. Trying to study out of a music textbook with a hyperactive Brendon Urie who apparently had just drank two cans of the stuff, right next to you because you stupidly forgot your own book is tricky. Josh almost cringes at the memory as he shoved his phone into his jacket pocket and walked out of the door.

The walk to school wasn't exactly all joy and happiness. Josh hated rain for a reason and he didn't get a ride into school today all because he he didn't wake up in time. He had already missed homeroom and a third of his period 1 class. As he trudged up to the reception, he asked for a slip and signed his name in the book. Surprisingly, none of his friends were on it. How the heck they had the energy to come into school on time after chatting on a groupchat till 2am confused Josh. He collected his slip, and started to walk along the deserted corridors, to his locker. He put away his stuff and took out the things he needed. Thankfully, he managed to do his history homework or he would've been landed in deep shit by his teacher. He had handed in too many pieces of late homework to that class and that has winded him in an awful lot of dangerous situations before. He walked up to the all familiar door of his period 1 class. Thankfully, they were all engrossed in some quiz or something so he just subtlety handed the slip to his teacher, kindly asked what they were doing and went to go sit next to Hayley. Hayley had been a good friend of Josh for a long time and even though they didn't love each other, they were like brother and sister to one another, always there for each other. Even when they're a pain in the ass to them. He took out his books and turned to the right page. Hayley nudged Josh.

"Hey sleepyhead, how was the lie in?"

"Not bad" he grumbled. "Never felt better." Hayley chuckled to herself quietly.

"Did ya see all the sweet stuff spammed on the groupchat last night?"

"Yes, Hayley. Why do you think I was late? Because that idiot wouldn't give me a break and decided to not shut up for once" Josh discreetly pointed at Brendon, desperately trying not to earn weird looks from his fellow classmates. "Jeez, where does that boy put his energy? After staying up till 1am I'm tired as hell and look at breadbin over there who looks like he's on a fucking sugar rush and just came back from a trip to weed land or something"

Hayley gave Josh a grin to stifle her laughs at her friend's almost sarcastic remarks and returned to working on what looks like a set of questions from a page in some dumb textbook. Josh then realised he hasn't even started and starts frantically looking at the questions and dialogue, hoping it was easy stuff the teacher gave them. No doubt he will doodle or do something other than the task itself instead like chatting to Hayley or figuring out what he'll do after school such as playing the drums. Thankfully his teacher was ignorant enough to not notice his and Hayley's conversation neither take look at the fact Josh has done nothing. Instead she looks more intrigued on some junior essays or whatever shit she has on his computer screen. Josh can't exactly tell, but he honestly couldn't care less first thing on a Tuesday morning.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter continues on from the last chapter, going on more about the rest of the school day. Josh discovers who he will be working with on his music project and Hayley gets put with someone she doesn't really want to be with.  
> Will it all go smoothly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow at chapter 2 already XD. hope y'all enjoy the longer chapter 
> 
> just so you know there is a very short, vague and brief mention of gore/unhealthy coping mechanisms? Idk what to call it but I'd better warn y'all like a good writer should :3
> 
> turns out gee is mr shipper 2017 lol

The rest of the day came round pretty fast and before he knew it, last period was here. Josh's favourite class, Music. It has all of his friends in it too which is an added bonus. The only downside is that all the stuck-up jocks are in it. Tyler Joseph, the school basketball team captain took it as well which could be a bad or good thing. Josh could never really tell. Tyler hangs out with most of the school basketball team who are mostly jerks but the way he plays music often inspires Josh, his hands gliding gracefully across the piano keys. Despite Josh's love for Tyler's music, the brunette often denies his talent when the teacher praises him. Josh often wonders why he took music. Apparently half the school say he is looking for a basketball scholarship and wants to be a basketball superstar so why the hell would someone who wants to act like the next Troy Bolton want to take music? However, the boy himself, never says much so god knows what they say is true or not. Sometimes Josh will look back to see if Tyler is there. For some reason, there is something about Tyler that makes Josh feel different. Josh feels almost attracted to the brunette. His chocolatey brown eyes and his rich, golden voice is beautiful. Even when Tyler answers a question or asks something, Josh always enjoys hearing his voice. Josh feels like a bit of a stalker for listening in to these things but he admires the guy so much he denies his guilt half the time. Josh always thinks it's weird that someone with such a nice voice never uses it often and keeps himself to himself but maybe it's just part of his personality. Sometimes Josh wonders if Tyler feels the same way about him too. He knows it feels almost wrong though. Tyler's parents hold him in high regards and is a pretty strict Christian. His family are VERY homophobic too. He knows this when he used to go to church before his family stopped going a few years ago. His mom used to know Tyler's mom quite well from all the church events. Trying to push the thought of gay romance out of his head, Josh walked up to the door of the music classroom and went to go sit next to Frank, one of the class loners, but knew Josh quite well when they used to be good friends in kindergarten. Josh was keen to avoid Hayley after what happened this morning, despite them hanging out together for most of the day and sitting at the same table at lunch. Like Brendon, Hayley won't shut up about certain things and it can get repetitive and boring very quickly. Today was like no other, with Hayley constantly mocking Josh about his comments on the groupchat and his reluctancy to get out of bed and get to school on time. Josh didn't mind because they would never take it too far (well, maybe Brendon, but he doesn't really take things seriously) but however, the game can go too far and get annoying. Especially when you just want to enjoy the last class of the day in peace. Sometimes time away from your friends can make a difference. Josh was thankful that Frank never really spoke to many people, didn't enjoy company much and had his own desk to himself. That extra space has saved Josh too many times this semester. As the class filed into the classroom, their teacher, Mr Way was busy writing something on the board. Josh wondered what it was. The only downside of sitting next to Frank was he always took the seats that were in the most obscure places in the class. Josh often guesses that he chooses those seats just so no one else picks them in which nobody does, which must be lucky for the guy. So today, they were sitting right next to the door, with Josh seated in the cramped space next to the wall. _Thanks a lot, Frank. You had to choose this one space out of all the other spots in the room_. Josh thought. He turned round to look for Tyler. Surprisingly, the brunette's seat was empty. _He's probably off sick. Yeah, sick. But even is that unusual for Tyler? The boy looks so fit and healthy. Weird._ Creepily, he knew that Tyler's attendance was pretty much almost perfect. In the classes he was with the brunette, he'd always look out for Tyler. He didn't have any other classes with him today so he had no clue where he was. He didn't tend to hang around near any of the basketball team members so he couldn't hear any of the gossip or chat. Eventually he came to the safer conclusion that maybe someone had taken him into their office for a short meeting or he was busy talking to a teacher about classwork and upcoming tests. After all, despite him being sporty, he was an academic person too, much to Josh's envy and surprise. Josh wasn't exactly the greatest at tests and homework and so often admired others who did better and were more enthusiastic to schoolwork than him. _He'll turn up soon, Josh. Stop worrying about one boy who probably doesn't even know you properly or love you back_. Josh turned round and decided to focus his attention on what Mr Way was scribbling on the board. He realised he couldn't see a thing. _Damn it Josh, you should've sat by yourself_. In an attempt to try and make his vision of the board clearer, he kicked the door, assuming everyone was in. Now he had a slightly better view but still couldn't see much on the board. As he struggled to see, Mr Way turned round to greet the class. "Hello, class. Is this everyone?" Most of the class nodded. "Alright then, let's start this lesson fresh, considering we finished our previous topic last week. Now, you are all probably wondering why I was writing on the board but you see, the new topic we will be learning about is mostly practical and so we will be doing projects." Half the class groaned. They all knew Mr Way liked to mix the class up for projects by picking the partners himself rather than letting the pupils go in their little friendship groups. "Now you will be doing this as a homework task and I will get round to telling you about the group situation in a minute." The class groaned even louder. "You have got 4 weeks to complete this and that means I don't want anything that looks like it has been quickly scribbled down or only had 25 minutes spent on it. I'm talking proper stuff here. As for your task, you and whoever I assign you to work on this project will be creating a piece of music or a music track using the software, equipment and instruments we have and learned about in school as well as other resources you have out of school too." Pete raised his hand. "Questions at the end, Peter." Pete angrily sighed and put his hand down. "Now where were we? Oh, I remember, you are welcome to work on this in your spare time and you are also allowed to use the music practise rooms after school, in your study periods and possibly at lunch if you want, to aid you in your assignments but please ask me first before you use them. Same goes with any other things in the department like the microphones and recording equipment we have if you wish to borrow them." Suddenly, the door of the classroom opens, and an almost freaked out Tyler Joseph walks in. Josh gasps quietly as he sees his a part of Tyler's wrist exposed when the brunette's sleeve of his hoodie pulls up slightly, the skin, completely pink and raw like he snapped something against it or had something irritating his skin. He hands his late note to Mr Way and grumbles something about his "basketball coach wanted me to go to his office for a word". Mr Way accepts the note and kindly tells Tyler to "go to your seat and I'll have a chat with you after about the stuff you missed". Tyler shuffles to his seat and Mr Way carries on. "Now that Tyler has decided to show up, let's get back to what I was saying. We will work on this in class for the first few periods to help you with planning and stuff but then after, it will be officially homework. Also, please remember that this is a group effort and if I hear that any of you aren't pulling your own weight in work and relying on the other person, you will be spending detention with me after school and it will be an instant fail for you and your partner." Some pupils' faces fell. They were obviously hoping to get away with doing the bare minimum of work but were caught in the act once again by Mr Way's strict disciplinary action. " Now, I don't think I have anything else to say it before we get to picking partners, I've printed all of what I've said onto a sheet of paper for you. It also has the date I want it in by, but I'd advise all of you to write it down somewhere else as well like in your phone or planner because no doubt at least half of you will lose that sheet somehow." Mr Way glares at the group at the back, who were swinging on their chairs and clearly ignoring what the teacher was saying. Mr Way knew that that particular group liked to lose stuff too often. It was on too many occasions he had to lend out pencils and new exercise books because they 'forgot them' or 'lost it'. Mr Way gives a long, tired sigh and returns to the more engaged members of the class. As some of the students pull out their phones to take pictures or write a note, Mr Way returns to his speech. "Now, as for the group situation, I've put you into groups of twos and I've chosen who you will be working with already so as soon as you find out who is your partner, you are free to use the rest of this period to start to plan." Josh had been lucky in terms of Mr Way's partner scam so far this semester, but he knows he won't get off as easy this time. He is just begging he won't get put with Mark, any of the famous kids from the school or one of the slackers at the back. Even Brendon would be a better partner than them. Maybe working with Frank wouldn't be half bad either. Apparently he's an ace at playing the guitar so that would be an extra perk. Mr Way starts to call out names. Josh is literally trembling. This could be the turning point of how well this project goes. Mr Way starts to get to his friends' names. "Hayley, your partner is Jenna." Hayley groans. Hayley and Jenna are complete opposites of each other. Hayley is the rebel with the bright-orange hair and hangs out with all the punk-like boys and according to some of the kids at school who go to church; also worships Satan and is a sinner. Jenna on the other hand, is an absolute teacher's pet who is a strict Christian and loves God as well as being completely innocent. Josh already knows that Hayley's pair are gonna struggle. The next pair to be shamed are called out. "Patrick, go with Brendon please." Patrick sighs. The dream of working with Pete on a music project has been crushed. Instead, he's stuck with a super hyperactive maniac. Well, it could've gone worse and poor Patrick could've been stuck with one of the popular kids at the back he doesn't even know and was probably a transfer from some fancy school for posh fucks. That would've been a hard time for Patrick if that happened because Patrick isn't the greatest when it comes to socialising and making new friends. Now, Pete. I think you'd work great with Frank. Yeah, Pete and Frank. You two are working together. Pete groans. Pete only really works with Patrick on projects so this will have to require some effort trying to befriend Frank. "Pete please be respectful of your partner or I'll put you on detention." Mr Way gave Pete a mean look before continuing with his list. Ryan gets stuck with some jock much to Ryan's dismay but maybe things could work out. After all, they already unwillingly exchanged phone numbers and that's a first considering no one else has even said 'hello' to their partner yet. Debby, (one of the school cheerleaders and who used to be one of Josh's closest friends back in Elementary school until she moved to a different state and then moved back to Ohio at the start of high school, as a completely different Debby from the one Josh knew back when he was 8) and Dallon (one of Brendon's pals that Josh met a couple of times) got put together. Half the famous kids from sports teams and cheerleading get paired with the slackers at the back but strangely, Tyler and Josh's name haven't been called out yet. Josh is getting worried. There is no chance he will be with his friends or even Frank now. Not even Dallon or Debby (well, maybe it would be best if he didn't speak to Debby again after her hiatus from Ohio. After all, she's a completely changed person now who didn't even acknowledge her old friend, Josh on her first day back). Suddenly, Mr Way calls out the next pair. "Oh! Tyler, You go with Josh." _Shit_. Josh thought to himself. "I think you two will work nicely and creatively together with each other and hopefully produce something great to show the class." Pete's hand shoots up. "Yes Pete?"  
"Umm Mr Way, you didn't say anything about presenting." "Are you saying we've got to present this to the class?"  
"Did I forget to tell you all? Sorry class. Yes, you will be presenting this to the class because I'm sure we will all be itching to hear each other's pieces of work!" The whole class groan and sigh. Pete face palms himself. _Double Shit_. This is going to be a tough 4 weeks.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all enjoy the long but pretty boring chapter! don't worry cuz next chapter will get better I think. I'm halfway through writing the next chapter so I'll hopefully post it tomorrow. This is what happens when ao3 is down for a few hours XD
> 
> Plz leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed it! This stuff encourages me to write more!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i've discovered how shit i am at keeping to a simple update schedule XD. im sorry i havent updated for a while so like i promised you, a long chapter. Enjoy fellow kitchen sinks.
> 
> Its a bit of a split chapter in which one part focuses on tyler and a smol part focuses on josh.  
> The bold part is when Blurryface is speaking just so you know and there is mentions of triggering self harm type stuff as well so be careful frens

After the rest of the names were called out, Tyler threw a piece of paper at Josh with his number on it and turned away. Josh gave him a cheesy smile back, but Tyler was already walking back to his seat. It was like he was almost scared of Josh. Josh sighed and put the scrap of paper in his pocket. Everyone has their phones out. Nobody can really be bothered to try and interact with their partners and so gave up on even having a conversation with the person and retreated to the digital world of their phones. Josh moved over to his friends, seeking some real life to talk and listen to and guiltily pulled out his phone, desperate to try and roast Brendon on the groupchat but before he could even get onto the conversation, Hayley stopped him.

"Soo Jishwa, someone got paired with church boy at the back there? I saw you checking him out during class and gawking at him" Hayley chuckles. Josh's face starts to flush a beetroot red. He doesn't know why his face is going so red over a _boy_.  
"See! I told ya all guys! Josh does have a crush! Turns out he's super gay like me and 'trick over here!" Pete yells. "Is someone in love with little Tyler Joseph?" Pete coos. Josh put his head in his hands. He would do anything for someone to kill him or bury a hole for him to hide in right now. "Did someone say Dun over here is secretly _gay?_ " Brendon grins and pats Josh on the back. Josh lets out a saddened sigh. It was amazing how his friends could act like such utter assholes at times."Yeah smartass, thanks for proving the point, Urie." Pete says.

Hayley, obviously now feeling guilty and sorry for putting Josh out as bait for their friends to laugh at, started to apologise to make it up to Josh by giving some thoughtful advice. "Hey, there is nothing wrong about being gay. Okay? Don't let those uneducated assholes get to you. They can't even say stuff cuz they _are_ gay themselves" Hayley says. "Anyway, we don't even know if you are proper gay. We gotta arrange a coming out party for you. Like, you only blushed just because I started talking about Tyler over there."  
"Thanks for the advice Hayley, but just to clarify, I'm not in love with Tyler Joseph at the back there. And _no_ coming out parties, thanks"  
"Oh really? To be honest, I think you two have it for each other. He looks like your type, Josh. Think of this music project as a bonding session" Hayley winks with her signature grin plastered on her face.  
"Are you kidding Hayley? I know you like to ship people but why Tyler? The poor guy probably won't even talk to me. Like, he looks really paranoid when he hangs 'round me like I've got a virus or somethin'. It's like he's scared about catching the gay. He is super Christian, it's like not funny. It's the sort of thing that makes me want to puke tartar sauce and tacos everywhere."  
"Wow, thanks for the visual image, Josh. I really didn't need to know that and to be honest, I don't think you should single him out because of his faith. Just because you gave up on religion doesn't mean you could be together. Christianity isn't a barrier for love and romance. Like yeah, he's a total God loving maniac who is basically homophobic because of his beliefs and automatically assumes that our friendship group are all gay and we are all a bunch of faggots because of what his so called church friends tell him and tries to stay away from us but that doesn't mean you could eventually be friends? He's probably learnt half of his views on people off his parents and what the bible says and there isn't really a way to stray the path of God without being disowned by your whole fucking family and friends and everyone telling you to literally go to hell, so maybe this is just his way of keeping reputation at school and church. I heard the people there are pretty scary anyway when it comes to talking about gay people. You just have to wear him down first Josh. Then you'll get to the real personality and character of Tyler. If it makes it easier, I'm at least gonna try and be friends with Jenna. Maybe we could be good buds. We're gonna have to work on this project somehow and hating eachother isn't going to help."  
"Yeah, I guess you're right Hayley. As they say, don't judge a book by its cover. Maybe it's the same with Tyler. But I'm not in love with him. I'm taking it as far as friends or acquaintances and that's it." Hayley sighs at the last part but perks back up, reminding herself that she just got stubborn Josh Dun to try and befriend some guy who tries to ignore him. To be honest, her plan could work out and they could get together as a couple.  
"See? I'm right! Now what about a mini competition of flappy bird on your phone?"  
Josh sighs. "Alright then. But I bet you a burrito at Taco Bell that I'll beat you"  
"Game on then. Let's see who's the best. And if I beat you by the way, you have to take me and the whole gang out to get ice cream after school one day. I'm not in the mood for burritos if I was to win it. I'm more of an ice cream girl."  
"Deal."

•|i|• Ø i+! ].[ ·

Tyler walked into his basketball coach's office. Dreading what he would have to say. He wished he stayed in music, his favourite subject, rather than suffering the wrath of his coach. He did know that there would be consequences if he didn't go though. Ones that could be worse than actually going to the meeting. Some from his parents too if they found out, who were hellbent on making Tyler become a world renowned basketball player. Outside, the office where he sat on a bench waiting, he had constantly snapped the rubber band on his wrist. He couldn't risk having a panic attack outside his coach's office. He didn't want Blurry to come out to play either. Blurry would ruin his visit to his coach's office and get him in trouble. No one seemed to understand Tyler's problems. It was awkward telling someone you had a voice in your head that drives you insane. That was why he tried to hide it from everyone and keep things between him and Blurryface. It was easier that way. He didn't hurt people's feelings or lose friends and Blurry wouldn't get angrier for shit talking about him. Blurry would shout things at Tyler. Making him try to run to the kitchen to look for knifes or find the blades hid in his locker or bedroom cabinet to cut himself with or just yell insults until Tyler was having a mental breakdown. The rubber band seemed to keep Blurry away when he snapped it for at least a while. It kept Tyler on top of his senses too. He didn't want his parents to find out that he was broken, insane and heavily sleep-deprived. He needed to be the perfect eldest son. Like what his parents wanted him to be. A role model for his siblings. He wanted to get that basketball scholarship to please his parents and God. To tell them that he wasn't useless and did deserve his family's love and his own life.

His coach opened the door and gestured at him to sit down in the chair in front of the desk. Coach didn't look happy. Tyler snapped the band on his reddened wrist again, to rid the feelings of anxiety, knowing that this meeting won't go great.

"Tyler, we have some things to talk about." Tyler stayed silent, knowing it was better to sit in silence rather than talk back to his coach (even saying okay pissed him off occasionally for some reason), after learning the hard way through previous times in the same office. "You don't exactly seem to be showing a lot of enthusiasm right now and you are often tired. It worries me Tyler, that you aren't putting your full potential into this and seriously. You have to realise, Joseph, that being basketball captain isn't all fun and games. There is no joking about. You can't go and do what you want and expect us to win without your full support. There are plenty of other, more enthusiastic boys out there on that team who would be happy enough to take your place. Don't think I'll let you keep your captaincy just because you're the best player on that team. Just because you score more hoops than the others doesn't mean I'll let you get off with whatever stunt you are trying to pull here. You better start showing more responsibility for your role as captain and putting some proper energy into this sport or I'll be taking it off you, Joseph." Tyler sat there, stunned. The room was filled with tension and silence.

_Sometimes Quiet is Violent_.

Tyler was ready to cry in front of his coach. All he needed was for Blurry to come back and taunt him or for Coach to say something triggering again. Then the barriers holding his emotions back could give up.                                                                                

"I'll give you a month to make it up to me in preparation for this year's school basketball cup but if you don't make that damn team win, Joseph, I'm taking your captaincy away from you. Don't think I'll take any of your crap either. If I feel like you aren't doing much to keep your role, I'll boot you off before that tournament even starts. Do I make myself clear?" Tyler snapped his band. The skin was now raw from being snapped so many times. Tyler was paralysed with fear. The silence was painful. Tyler just wanted to scream.

"I said, do I make myself fucking _clear_ , Joseph?" Tyler was brought back to reality, trembling with anxiety and struggling on what to say. Should he defend his captaincy like any strong-willed person? Or should he just hand his captaincy in now, to save humiliation and unecessary comments from Bluryface.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

"U u. Um. O. o o. okay. Th th, thank y you c c coach." That was all Tyler could say to save himself from having a meltdown.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

"Now do me a favour and get out of my fucking sight. See you at practise, Joseph. And don't forget to think about your actions." Coach growled. Tyler grabbed the late slip his coach had written him and his bag and made a run for it, speed walking to casually get out of that office as soon as possible without looking like a fucked up retard. He didn't look behind him. He closed the office door and tried to calm down. He got to his locker, and sat down on the linoleum floor with his head in his hands. He was such a mess. Blurry wasn't here yet and he was already starting to cry, hot tears running down his now-red face. To avoid people finding out, he scouted around for the nearest bathroom, ran in and locked himself in a stall. He started to sob quietly. Blurry's shadow was getting closer.

**You fucking piece of worthless shit. Disowned by your own fucking basketball coach.....**

He snapped the rubber band a few times. _N n not now b, blurry. I can't have you here_. His wrist was completely raw and the pain surged through his wrist. It was the worst Tyler had seen it in a long time, with blood threatening to seep out from the most damaged parts of skin. It didn't help that there were some new cuts he had made fairly recently there too. Tyler didn't care though, he had done it so many times before, the pain from it didn't hurt as much as it used to. After all, he had done worse to his arms and wrists before, and the pain was almost a good feeling. Making him feel clean and pure, ridding himself of Blurry and the feeling of dirtiness for the time being. After 5 minutes of crying, Tyler wiped his face with the sleeves of his hoodie and walked out of the stall. He was glad no one came in and heard him cry or see him come out of the stall looking so vulnerable. He cleaned himself up, to look more presentable to a class who will no doubt question his appearance and where he went to. He rolled up his sleeves and splashed some cold water on his wrist and winced at the pain created from the contact of cold water onto raw skin. He looked in the mirror. He still had slightly puffy eyes from crying but couldn't afford to stay in here for much longer. His music teacher will question why he was back so late. He dried his hands, picked up his bag and left the bathroom.

As he walked up to the familiar door of Mr Way's music classroom, he started to tremble. _Not now, Tyler. Keep it together_. He opened the door and handed his slip to Mr Way. He noticed that faggot, Josh, which everyone hates looking at him with a slight tinge of sympathy on his face. He ignored Josh's weird looks and mumbled something to Mr Way before making his way to his seat beside Jenna, his best friend.  
"So, what happened? Your eyes look slightly red." Questioned Jenna with a worried look on her face.  
"Uh. Um. Nothing. I just had a short meeting with my coach" Tyler half lied.  
"Tyler, don't lie to me. You were away for over 20 minutes. Coach doesn't keep people at his office for that long. Tell me the truth. You know you can trust me. Did that sicko say mean things to you again Tyler?"  
"Um Jenna, I don't really want to t talk a a about it right now. Can we just focus on music?" Tyler snapped his rubber band again discreetly, so that Jenna or his classmates couldn't see.  
"Fine. But we're talking about it after cheer and basketball when we walk home. You have to realise Tyler, I care for you and your health and you have to trust me so I can help you with your problems."  
Jenna knew about Tyler and his problems as well as his family. She knew it was a tough, cruel life he had to put up with. She knew that Tyler has panic attacks and suffers from anxiety as well as Blurry constantly taunting him, after learning the hard way a few times when she witnessed some of his anxiety attacks. She also knew stuff about his family too, partly because her family were good friends with Tyler's family so over the years, she learnt more and more of what they are like. Jenna felt sorry for Tyler a lot of the time because of what he felt.  
"Um Jenna, we don't need to talk about it. I'm fine and all I did was speak to my coach." Tyler stammered.  
"Tyler, please let me help you, I don't want to see you like this, with your eyes puffy from crying. I know what you're like and I want a happy friend, not a sad one"  
Tyler didn't reply and instead tuned back in to listening to Mr Way ramble on about some important project he missed half the explanation of. Jenna wanted to speak to Tyler again, but felt it was better if he was left alone and so also listened to what they will be doing. After all, she could always get him after school like she promised when their conversation would be more private and in a more relaxed atmosphere for Tyler. Suddenly, paper got slammed on her desk with the information for their projects. Jenna sighed. She knew this would be tough because Mr Way liked to choose the partners. She prayed she would be put with Tyler or Debby. Then soon after, names got called out. "Hayley, your partner is Jenna." Jenna sighed. The complete opposite of what she wanted. Hayley didn't look happy either. Jenna hoped there was a muck up with the names so she would get put with someone else. Jenna didn't want to get put with Hayley for reasons. She hangs out with a bunch of so called gay people who are constantly targeted, with abuse hurled at them and Jenna is scared in case they turn her into one and she gets shunned by her peers and family for it. Jenna knows the shit her friends spew about them too. Calling them dirty faggots who worship satan. She's heard those words often enough to realise how much most of their school truly hate them. Hayley looks pretty threatening too, with her bright orange hair that makes her look like a punk. Tyler looks up to Jenna and gives her a sorry glance of sympathy. As other names get called out, more members of the class groan and sigh. The only members of the class who look happy enough with their partners are Brendon and Patrick and they don't exactly look that chuffed much. Poor Debby gets put with Dallon and a lot of her friends from Cheer get put with the lazy people at the back of the class. It looks like Mr Way is trying to start a war with the choices he's taken. Tyler's name gets called out and he is put with Josh Dun. Tyler sighs and puts his head in his hands. Jenna knew he didn't want this. Tyler stayed like that until Mr way told everyone that they could start working on their projects. Tyler messily scribbled down his mobile number on a scrap piece of paper he found in his bag and walked up to Josh's seat. He threw it at Josh and walked away. He wasn't in the mood for socialising today neither hearing what bullshit his friends have to say about him and Josh being together. He didn't want to be called gay. He wasn't. He didn't love boys more than girls and certainly didn't take the path to hell. If his friends, church or even worse- his parents find out, he could be in deep shit. Tyler almost trembles at the thought. Being called a fuck up, a gay faggot that not even God could love. He already had enough of that in his life from Blurry so he didn't want his parents to start. He sat back down and checked his phone. Thankfully, his parents hadn't called him or sent him any messages. He took out his notepad and started to write some lyrics. After all, He was in music. The lyrics were for part of a song he hadnt named yet. He had dwelled on the thought of calling it _Taxi Cab_ , but still didnt know if it suited it or not.

_I wanna fall inside your ghost,_  
_And fill up every hole inside my mind_  
_And I want everyone to know,_  
_That I am half a soul divided_

_Sometimes we will die and sometimes we will fly away,_  
_Either way you're by my side until my dying days,_  
_And if I'm not there and I'm far away,_  
_I said, Don't be afraid._  
_I said, Don't be afraid. We're going home._

_I wanna strip myself of breath._  
_A breathless piece of death I've made for you._  
_A mortal writing piece of song will help me carry on_  
_But this you heard._                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

Mr Way came up to him short after to speak to him. "You alright Tyler? What you writing there?"  
"Uh uhm. Just some song lyrics. I like to write them sometimes when I have the the time and inspiration."  
"Could I read them? Or would you rather keep them private?"  
"Um I'd rather keep them private sir. They aren't exactly right because they don't join up yet. It's mainly just words and phrases joined up in verses. It. It. It's more aggressive poetry than what I'd call actual song lyrics so i i i, It's kinda embarrassing cuz it only really makes sense to me."  
"Okay then. Well you didn't miss much of the lesson. You know that we just finished a unit? Right?"  
"Yeh"  
"Well we're going on to a new unit and this unit involves doing a project for most of it and you will be creating a piece of music with another person to show to the class and for me to evaluate. It will have to be finished in four weeks time. We will work on this in class for the first few weeks but from then after it will be completely homework." You can use the music rooms after school and in your spare time as well as any other school resources such as computers and all the recording equipment to aid you but please ask me before you use anything. You know who your partner is, right?" Tyler nodded his head. He didn't want Mr Way calling out Josh's god damn name again.  
"Okay that's good. I think everything else I haven't covered is on the sheet I handed out and on the board" Mr Way got up to leave but Jenna stopped him.  
"Um Mr Way! Is there any way I could swap partners? I don't think me and Hayley will work well together."  
"Sorry Jenna, but there isn't anyone to switch with and it would be unfair on the rest of the class. The decision is set in stone. Maybe it would be good for you to get to know other members of the class, anyway. It's far too often that you kids stick together in your own groups."  
"Oh." Jenna sighed. Mr Way walked away back to his desk. Jenna looked slightly scared. She turned to face Tyler, who looked up to face her. "I don't want to work with someone like Hayley. I'm scared."  
"Look, our parents don't have to know, Jenna"  
"But you heard Mr Way, he wants it done as homework! That means I'll have to invite Hayley to my house! What will my parents think if I invite a girl with crazy orange hair into their house? Oh yeah, sorry to bother you mom, but I'm just going to invite an atheist all the people at church hate so we can work on homework together. They'll think I'm mad! She doesn't even go to church!" Jenna said with a pained look  
"Woah, Jenna. There is a thing called text messages and emails to exchange work, you know? And you could probably do most of this at school."  
"Yeah, I guess. I think I'm overreacting to the situation. Surely she can't be a bad person right?"  
"Uh, um yeh." Tyler said, reflecting on all the unnecessary comments his parents have said about Hayley and her friends in the past.  
"How are you about working with Josh?"  
"Um I'm fine. I just need time to think it all over and stuff"  
"Okay well tell me if you need help."  
The bell for the end of the day rang, and pupils ran out of the classroom, desperate to leave. All who were left was Hayley, Tyler, Jenna and Mr Way.

  
"So um, Jenna. Would you like my number?" Hayley offered a piece of paper with her number written in neat, purple writing.  
"Uh, sure" Jenna said, taking the paper off her and shoving it in her pocket, then quickly writing her own on a piece of lined paper from her notepad and handing it to Hayley.  
"Hey, would you like to maybe come down to the music room one time after school so we can um, get planning? We could start to work out sounds and stuff for our music piece"  
"Yeh, sure"  
"Okay, I'll talk to Mr way about it and send you a message of when we'll meet"  
"Cool"  
"See you around then" Hayley replied with a grin  
Jenna and Tyler left the classroom, to go down to the courts to get ready for their extra-curricular activities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so basically this is almost like a filler chapter because it goes over with some of the stuff mentioned previously. However, i hope it all gives you a better insight of what has been happening to Tyler considering not much has been said about him yet :3  
> also, points to you if know/noticed the song tyler is writing in this chapter is (most of you probably know or heard about because it is a twenty one pilots song and the name is mentioned in the chapter so idk why im writing this out XD) and if you haven't heard it, listen to it (it is called taxi cab just to clarify lol) because it's cool and i chose it to mention in this chapter because i thought the lyrics tie in nicely with how Tyler is coping and feeling emotionally
> 
> anyhow, i hoped you enjoyed this chapter and i have written out a good part for the next one so ill post it when i find the time because right now my week has been pretty much crap and it probably will be next week too lol. I'll update the tags soon too just to keep this thing updated.
> 
> Also, if you have ideas for where you want this to go in future chapters or whatever comment them or stuff bc i want to keep your ideas in mind when writing this too :3  
> If you like this plz leave kudos and comments and stuff because it helps motivate me to write more and continue with this fic
> 
> i dont know why all these author notes are staying on the next chapters too because in chapter 2 theres one from the first chapter that shouldnt be there and i have no clue how to remove it so sorry about it XD

**Author's Note:**

> wowee, this chapter is pretty short, to me anyway. I promise the next one will be longer and better (that's what she said). Hope you all enjoyed it anyway! I'll post the next chapter soon once I've finished writing it up and checked it. If you are all lucky, hopefully the next chapter will be posted here tomorrow :3
> 
> Plz leave kudos, comments and stuff if you liked it! This stuff helps motivate me and encourages me to write more which is good if you like this fic lol ;)
> 
> *stay alive frens*


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